Finally, A Credible Alien Abduction Story

“Red” rocker Sammy Hagar says abducted by aliens

What makes this story work for me are the key elements – sex, drugs, rock and roll, and Los Angeles. Who would not think that this mix had an ET or two lingering around? Actually as one who keeps up with California news I think many denizens of Los Angeles have dual citizenship – outer space and US.

Here’s an alternative explanation. Perhaps the abduction was a spur of the moment act of stoned fans trying out their new chemical protective suits and gas masks. I hear that West Coast sales of those two items are through the roof with the Japanese disaster.

Between Japanese vapors wafting in and the San Andreas Fault tipping the state into the Pacific Californians just cannot catch a break. Call the mother ship!

It’s Official, America’s Lost Balls Located

Sacre bleu! Who would have thought that America’s lost balls would turn up in France of all places? Most people assumed that America’s balls had gone missing on one of Hussein’s bowing, scraping, and kowtowing world tours of apologies for America never to be seen again.

Now after weeks of American inaction President Sarkozy, with balls worthy of an American President, has stepped up to the plate and taken action on the Libyan crisis. Could France be in possession of the missing American balls? Bonne chance, monde! It is another triumph of Hussein’s presidency. Americans looking with envy at a President of France.